This post is for anyone asking themselves the question, “Where is my Mr. Right?”  But maybe the real question is: “Why didn’t the previous relationships work out?” And more importantly what if that rejection was actually protection? Whether you decided to end it or your partner did.

This post dives deep into dating and relationships: the energy dynamics between men and women, how some men see women as resources, and how women can protect their light. This is for the woman who’s starting to realize her worth, and for the one who already knows, but needs a reminder. Let’s get into it.

He Already Knows

Men see the potential in a woman upon first glance, first conversation. They know the quality of what she’s carrying in her heart, her creative potential, and how much of a guy’s nonsense she is willing to tolerate. Even if you respond to a males advances with more patience in one season of life than another where you might shut him down more quickly, your level of worth never changed. It’s just a matter of when you become privy to your worth.

This is why a man knows he has a 50/50 chance of getting over on a lady, intentionally or unintentionally. Whether you’re Woke or asleep—it’s the chance he takes the question is will he take the risk? But make no mistake: he already sees what he can gain from your sex, your energy, quality of companionship, or even just your attention. Then he gages if it’s worth keeping her.

Can He Afford You?

It all comes down to this: Can he afford to keep you? How does your presence in his life effect his bottom line…:

• His finances
• His quality of life
• His bloodline

These answers depend on whether or not he’s in spiritual debt, and how deep it goes. If he’s in debt, he will most likely take the risk. He’ll get in bed with you, playhouse, and even marry you. If you two dissolve the relationship, he may attempt to string you along if you’re bound by sexual urges, finances, or other co-dependencies.

If you’re healed and set standards, this would be the basis for him to put a ring on it, just to keep the energy flowing.

The Vampiric Man 

Here’s the kicker: An unhealed woman can struggle to advance while tied to a man like this. She’ll accept the life of survival culture experiencing feelings of depletion. 

Why? Because his energy is vampiric. He, his family, and his choices will drain her of her wealth (figurately and literally), blocking her from reaching her true potential.

Until the appointed time… when she declares she has had enough of having the life sucked out of her. She may even resent being labeled a “strong woman.”

The truth is: her strength was never the problem. It’s one of her superpowers. She was just over-sharing it with the wrong people.

Side Effects of Vampirism

So, how do you know your energy is being tapped into? The effects generally stem from the core of you. The solar plexus. It may result in either of the following;

• Gut issues such as nausea, digestive problems, and food sensitivities
• Discontentment, struggling to laugh
• Always serious and stern
• Feeling like joy is missing from your life
• Financial challenges such as balancing your budget, making ends meet, or just getting paid your worth in general 
• Fatigue
• Sudden energy drains with no apparent cause.

If a combination of either of these are your plot, you could be experiencing a case of joylessness i.e. melancholy, the effect of vampirism. More severe cases include depression and dejection. In your process of awakening, you’ll either naturally outgrow him or decide to cut him loose and upgrade your life. Just know he is spiritually indebted to you, and so is anyone else who took part in the draining. Don’t be surprised when he finds the next victim and charges it to her to pay off his debt to you, another story for another day

The Perfect Match

Now let’s talk about the alternative.

A man who sees your value and wants to build or preserve a legacy. He sees your power and can help speed up the healing process. I e the eye opening as he invests in your healing, growth, and wholeness. 

A man like this seeks a return on investment and not in a selfish way. This is the man of strategy and high intellect. He protects his investment and that which sustains it at any cost. He makes no decision lightly. When reviewing his options, he weighs pros and cons leaving no stone unturned. Consider him a man of great discipline. This man is your perfect match.

When he is the truth, he holds his woman in high regard showing her unwavering respect and honor. He is honorable to her in private as well as public. 

She can choose to keep or discard him, but, for him so much is poured into her she is his saving grace in more ways than one. Her light is that powerful.

The healed woman notices this man, she vets him thoroughly, remains uncompromising in all her ways, and finds confirmation from Source.  Together the two can solidify a foundation for long lasting union.

How to Protect Your Light

So, how does a woman protect herself from the vampiric man?

She charges more.
Not just financially but energetically, spiritually, emotionally.

The one who can afford you at your highest level is the keeper.

See, there are only two types of men, one that can afford you and one that cannot.

Rejection is the Gift

So ladies be grateful for what looks like rejection. He is only communicating to you how small his pockets are, spiritually, emotionally, and financially. He’s showing you his capacity.

Protection starts with Self. You can be your own first line of defense by doing the inner work.